woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
