Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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