Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
