he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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