Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
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