you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
