i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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