I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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