My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
