and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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