I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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