Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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