Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
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