I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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