you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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