I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
