so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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