Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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