Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
