At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
