I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
