I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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