Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
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im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
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Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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