i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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