i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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