Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
My balls are so social today.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
