East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
