Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my being single is dangerous.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
that may or may not have been my penis.
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