In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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