I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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