Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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