Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
