also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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