I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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