Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
