Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize