This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
