I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize