dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
