we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
