just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
