So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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