i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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