can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
We were destined to go to rehab together
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
