I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I should be sponsored by Trojan
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
