I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
