SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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