are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
