This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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