If i come over, it means nothing
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
