Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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