hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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