I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
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Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
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