About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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