Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
