Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
