you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You need a sexual gate keeper
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
