Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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