There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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