Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
