She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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