Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
