My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication