i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
