I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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